Saturday, May 10, 2003 :::
 

so it's may 10th... matt neverkla's birthday.I tried to find him online. no luck. it makes me sad. i think he's be 34 if i am right, maybe 35. i wonder if he thinks of me at all. wierd. also todays' my grandparent's wedding anniversary..only my grandfather's not there to share it. he died in '95. they got married in '35, so this would be 68 years. last night as i was about to leave dad's garage theater this homelss dude walks up w/ young punky kid who's wobbling and beaten up. at first i wasn't sure what was up..the homeless guy, who was black, didn't seem hurt. it took me a few minuets to recognize him. he knew me right away and i was all... "ummm hey dude. " i relaized it was mesh's roomate alan. he used to me a working member at sev, but i'd also been to his apt a few times and given him ride to emory once. this poor kid. he was all beat to shit, left eye terrible swollen, and bloodshot. he was drunk as hell, and feeling very sorry for himself. joel was there for a bit, but i felt it was cool, and said he could leave. i cancelled the cab i'd called for when i realized it was mesh's roomie, and told him i'd drive him home.
i was crying his eyes out. gave me 3 cds... elliot smith and two hip hop ones. i will listen, maybe copy, and give them back. i dont' want him to not have his music. i thought about making a sorry-you-got-your-ass-kicked hope you feel better card. i have both boxes of crayons in the house courtesy of babysitting allastair recently. oh..3 year olds are swell.
anyway.. alan and i had this interesting convo, that i think will embarras him later, perhaps. it was on the nature of rape. did women, secretly like it...? I said i don't think so, as it's just such a voilation. now your body will often get into it, and make the juices flow, etc... but the mind's a different story. he said he needs agression when having sex. for him to be agressive. i mentioned those 'fantasy' scenarios that some people like, to pretend that sorta thing. did he fantasize when he was by himself.? he said he had fantasies about being raped by men, and raping women. but him not raping men. it was a weird conversation, but interesting. i'd like to take him up on more of it later, when he's sober.
poor kid was so distraught over his place in life, crying his eyes out. his injured eye was so horrid, he could hardly stand up he was so drunk. i made sure he got into his house and drove off into the cooling morning/night air. it was about 3 am perhaps. anita called me at 9 to tell me i didn't have to get up early, (which is ironic, since her phone call woke me up) anyway...so i got online, checked mail, tried to watch soem more 24... fell asleep for most of afternoon. felt good to sleep in. took a shower, going to laundrisize this afternoon, and then i think off to erin's party. i want to go see the ballet for free, as offered by doyle... but i told people i'd be at the party at erin's house. then i am going to the Beaver show at DGTC. it's the midnight one, william's comping me in. so...off for now. plan to post more often. felt out of sorts lately. re: power bill issue, brooks' dressing down of me (not unwarranted, entirely...) told by someone that she thinks i am 'going places' now... would like that to be true. need to just get my shit together. called the laywer like 943 times this week requesting the info on the garnishment. jerk wouldn't call me back, now i have no 'evidence' to show berny.... feeling all carpal tunnel-y now... after this weeks littke TMJ-induced stress i don't wann push myself in ways i shouldn't .... shite... i remember i have to write my co-op article today/tomorrow to get to jenn by monday. sigh. later...

::: posted by Grendy at 5/10/2003 05:22:00 PM